Life After the Wake-up Call!

Stress Management – 7 Tips for Navigating Change with Grace and Ease

One definition of stress management is “what we do to stay in balance when life gets in the way of our plans“. Everyone knows the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, right?

So if you are pursuing a goal (you are, aren’t you?) the quickest way to get there is by only doing things that take you there by the most direct route possible, right?

Only sometimes the only possible route looks like it is headed in a totally different direction. That is when you feel stress. But you don’t have to. By taking a few cues from the art of sailing, you can navigate change with grace and ease.

Beware of Your Perspective – If you were sailing from New York to England, there would be a lot of time that all you saw was water. If you judged your progress by what you could see in front of the boat you would say you weren’t getting anywhere. Ask yourself, “How can I most usefully assess my situation?”

Get Help – even solo journeys need a support crew. Unless you are sailing a very small ship, you can’t do it by yourself. Ask yourself, “Where can I get support?”

Be Persistent – but be willing to change course. Most of the time a sailboat is not headed directly toward its destination. Ask yourself, “How can I proceed in light of the present circumstances?”

Take Care of the Boat – All along the journey the captain inspects the boat and watches for signs of weathering or deterioration. Ask yourself, “How can I take better care of my body?”

Remember to Enjoy the Journey – You will spend a lot more time on the journey than you will at the destination. Ask yourself, “How can I enjoy what is here for me today?”

Study the Maps – Most likely someone else has made the journey before you and they may have made a map. Ask yourself, “Can I benefit from someone else‘s wisdom and experience?

Remember Your Role – You don’t have to make the wind blow, you just have to guide the boat. Use your energy only for what you can control. Ask yourself, “What is the most productive use of my time?”

Bonus Tip! Be Willing to be Surprised – Columbus did not find what he was looking for! Ask yourself, “What have I found that is of value?”

What are your best tips for navigating around road blocks?

Playing with the Rain

As adults we have our pastimes and our hobbies. We bowl in leagues and go to the gym to work out. We do things that we don’t consider work, but we rarely really play. When we do we often base our play on expensive toys – 4 wheelers, boats, water skis, snow skis. Children can play with anything. They don’t need fancy toys to entertain themselves, although advertising would have you believe they do.

Picture a child of about 3 or 4 at Christmas or a birthday. He gets help unwrapping the perfect educational toy, guaranteed to entertain him for hours. It is placed in front of him at last. What does he do? Toddles right past it to the box is was wrapped in and entertains himself for the rest of the day. He uses it as a fort, a race car , and a drum . Toys are a dime a dozen to a child, but a good box will last until Mom finally makes it disappear.

Last Labor Day morning I woke up to the sound of rain. I wasn’t sure that’s what it was at first. I hadn’t heard the slow, soft sound of a lingering rain in a long time. I went to the door and looked out just to make sure. I stepped out onto the porch and drank in the fresh, cool air. I love rain. I think it has something to do with growing up in Louisiana. It rains a lot there – you might as well love it.

I remember being little and watching it rain, playing in the puddles, and making mud pies. I knew what was coming last Labor Day morning- “Mom, can I go play in the rain?”

Of course you can, I told my eight year old son. Out he went, before he even had breakfast. He didn’t just play IN the rain, though. He went beyond that. He played WITH the rain.

For a long time he sat in one of our plastic lawn chairs out in the rain and sang. Not words, really, just joyful sounds. Soon he was soaked.

The he decided to splash. Not just little splashes in the puddles. He took a lawn chair and positioned it just perfectly so one of the streams coming off the roof fell right into the seat. When it filled up as far as it could, he turned around and quickly sat down. SPLASH! Over and over! SPLASH! He had three chairs going at once. He would fill them in turn, then sit in them and SPLASH! This went on for about an hour.

Finally he came in, dried off, changed clothes, had breakfast, and decided to call a friend to play with him in the rain.

Not long after Xan came down I heard the hose running. They were having water gun fights in the rain. After I mentioned something about there being enough water, they began to fill the guns in the streams coming off the roof.

This led to a game of jumping onto and off the porch without getting into one of the streams. Of course they were already soaked. What difference would a little more water make?

They came in the house for lunch, dried off, changed clothes, and went back out to play in the rain. Finally they were tired. Did they come in the house? No, they laid down in the rain on the back patio and just rested with the raindrops falling on their heads.

It rained all day. They went through 3 towels each and 4 sets of clothes. My son’s friend ended up in one of my t-shirts. His parents had already brought him dry clothes and I didn’t have the heart to call them and tell them those were wet, too. I watched all manner of games form and reform with the rain not as a backdrop, but as an active playmate. I think he really should have asked, “Mom, can I go out and play with the rain?”

Children can play with anything. We can learn a lot from them.

* About making the most of what is rather than waiting for what could be.
* About enjoying each moment without thought of accomplishment, goals, or what anyone else thinks.
* About not worrying that we’ve gone through 4 days of laundry in less than 8 hours.
* About entertaining ourselves with small pleasures, savoring the moment, and seizing the day.

Children can play with anything. We can learn a lot from them.

When was the last time you played, and what did you do?

Motivation – Use What You’ve Got

Years ago, when I was about 30, I set out to ride a century on my bicycle. In case you don’t roll with the cyclists, that means I planned to ride 100 miles in one day. I did it, too. Took me 8 hours and 42 minutes – and no, I wasn’t last. I finished easily – not to say I wasn’t exhausted – I was, but if I’d had to I could have gone another 3 or 4 feet.

This post isn’t about that ride. It’s about one of the training rides on the way to that ride. The century was at the end of August – in Texas – the Hotter’n Hell Hundred in Wichita Falls. The ride that inspired this post was around May or June. It was supposed to be a 50 miler and my longest training ride had probably been 30 miles. I was ready, but 50 was going to be a stretch.

The ride started well. Beautiful countryside, pleasant people to ride with for a while. At about 40 miles I started to look forward to the end. I was getting tired. And the two people ahead of me were making it worse.

They were stopping to take smoke breaks! Every time they would stop I would ALMOST catch up with them, but before I could, they would start riding again and pull away from me. This went on and on. I got more and more tired, and more and more ashamed that I couldn’t even keep up with the smokers!

When I reached the 50 mile mark on my cycle computer and didn’t see the finish line, I began to wonder. The smokers were still in front of me. For miles my focus and goal had been to catch up with them before the end of the ride. As it began to be obvious I wasn’t going to make that goal, I began to focus on how many miles past 50 I was without seeing the finish line.

I still don’t think I took a wrong turn on that course, but I ended up riding a 100k that day – over 60 miles. What sustained me through the last few miles, when my hands were so numb I could not even open the top of my water bottle to fill it at the rest stop, was ANGER.

I decided that when I finished the ride, I was going to find the person who laid out the course and kill him. Yep! Kill him.

I never did look for him. By the time I finished the ride I had to be peeled from the bicycle. I couldn’t even lift my leg over the seat. I wasn’t much of a threat.

But I had succeeded! I had finished and had ridden twice as far as I had ever gone before. And I did it by focusing on whatever gave me motivation in the moment. I couldn’t have known the smokers were going to be there “taunting” me, or that the course would be mismeasured or mismarked or that I would take wrong turn somewhere along the way.

I made my motivation up as I went along. And that’s what you’ll do, too. All you have to do is start the ride. You may think you know what is going to keep you motivated as you pedal along, but then again, you may have to use what you’ve got.

What is motivating you right now?

Do You Blog for Money?

Henri Junttila, in a guest post over at www.DailyBlogTips.com, suggested this as one way to find your passion as a blogger.

Really think about what you would want to do if money didn’t exist on the planet. There are no 9-5 jobs. Everyone is doing what they love. What would you be doing in this scenario?

This is one of those questions that is very attractive – no money and everyone doing what they love and all that. I fell for it at first – hook, line, and sinker. You know the drill – breakfast in bed, then a couple client calls, lunch with the hunka husband, couple more client calls, a great workout at the gym, salad for supper, then a great party with friends – tailgating out the back of Mercedes SUV at your polo club.

Oh, I’m sorry, did I get a little carried away there? I couldn’t help it – I was lulled to sleep by the dreamy music.

Seriously, there was a time when money didn’t exist on the planet – and everyone did NOT get to do what they loved in the absence of legal tender.

Now, don’t get me wrong! It sounds like I’m saying the question is not a good one. But the question is a great question! What if money did not exist on the planet?

You would do the same thing people did before a standardized means of exchange did exist on the planet – you would barter. And here is the value in the question.

What if you had to think about your stuff (your business, products, offerings, etc) in it’s most basic and fundamental state – it’s value to other people. Not in terms of money, but in terms of what they can do with it and get from it. In terms of what they really need from you.

This would take you back to the basics of business – the exchange of value. Money makes the transaction easier, but it doesn’t change the basic nature of business – the exchange of value. How would you do business differently if you took money out of the equation and thought about exchanging value instead?

Can You Pass This Vision Test?

It’s an old adage that you will move toward what you are looking at. Even if your vision is totally in focus, is it moving you toward success?

Take a look at the image below and tell me what you see. You may want to jot down your answer, just so you can remember what you said. Write down everything you see.

Did you mention the dot? Everyone sees that, of course. And most people mention the border, too. Those are the foreground of the picture. But what about the white space enclosed by the border? Did you mention that? Surprisingly, most people don’t mention the white pixels, even though they comprise most of the image.

That is because they comprise the background of the image, and we aren’t conditioned to look at the background.

What does this have to do with your success in business? A lot, actually. What you focus on is important, but what you may be ignoring without realizing it will jump up and bite you in the tookus (how do you spell tookus, anyway?).

Here’s a short video that illustrates the point better than anything I can make up. You’re going to see a group of people passing a basketball around. Your task is to count how many times the team in the white shirts passes the ball over the course of the video.

Here is the link to the basketball video!

Did you watch it? Seriously, if you didn’t watch it, either go back and watch it now or just click somewhere else, because you’ll totally miss the point if you didn’t watch.

How many passes did you count?

Did you notice anything unusual about the game?

Did you see the person in the gorilla suit stroll through the middle of the game?

No? Go back and check – I’ll be waiting right here.

If you missed the gorilla, you’ve got plenty of company. When this experiment was done by Daniel Simons of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Christopher Chabris of Harvard University, 50% of the test subjects didn’t see the gorilla.

I first saw the video at a presentation by Howard Martin of the Heartmath Institute. In a group of about 200 of us, there were 5 who saw the gorilla the first time. And yes, I was one of them. I don’t know how many times the team in white shirts passed the ball – I was looking at the gorilla.

So, to get to the point, focus is important for success, but it is possible to get too focused on one thing and miss important information. The ability to focus is critical, but so is the ability to know what to focus on and when.

Did you see the gorilla? Leave a comment and share your biggest challenge with focus . . .

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